Spinning on its turret the "Big Ear" swept in all talk for the slice of this evenings pass down the country road. On each side of the red, white, and blue converted army truck were two very large tan colored ears with the slogan "Speak Louder for Your Government".
Maybe this was necessary years ago but now with the new super-sweeper suck-all whisper detection system even the buzzing of a tiny mosquito could be heard clearly from distances up to a mile away.
We should all be thankful for the burgeoning NSA budget passed behind closed doors - those stainless steel vault doors. Only problem was the spy folks would need a new vault for them and their lobbyist-snatched legislative buddies because the Chinese steel of their current model was starting to crack.
Sorry for the diversion from the topic of spying on Americans or more precisely having "Big Ears" listen in on our nightly conversations. Well it does look like an oversized metal mesh web of an ear that glows an orange-red from all the power that is required to keep the damn thing penetrating the deepest of intimate juicy secrets.
Alright, let me rephrase that; we all know Jack and Jill no longer have any secrets for they were all collated, sifted, processed, cataloged, and stored somewhere in one of four warehouse data centers in Utah.
You ask is this necessary? Why of course it's not only necessary but essential that taxpayers spend exorbitant billions almost approaching trillions of dollars on not only the finest extra special Big Ears but also to support our banker buddies via Federal Reserve cash floods.
Don't worry about those rice weevils munching on your daily cup allotments that background noise has been eliminated by the emaciated programmers working for the NSA. They're alright, these software developers that work like moles in the underground tunnels for they get to keep their bug finds giving their rice gruel a nice tangy flavor.
Better stop writing. Want to give the electronic guzzlers a tad more time to analyze my work for subversive comments. Never can tell when those sneaky moles will popup out of their dirty holes. Best to be prepared. Should probably have some extra drool rags handy so they don't make a mess of my home interrogation table.